You're Networking Wrong. Here's What Actually Gets Responses

ILENE REIN | Executive Recruiter & Job Search Strategist | Pounding Pavement 101

The Uncomfortable Truth

I'm going to be honest with you. Most job seekers hate networking. And most of them are doing it in a way that guarantees they'll keep hating it.

I have spent many years as a Recruiter and Job Search Strategist, watching people network their way right out of opportunities. They weren't bad people. They weren't unqualified. They just had no idea how their approach was landing with the people they were trying to connect with.

Here's what I know for sure. About 70% of jobs never get posted publicly. They get filled through internal moves, referrals, and conversations that happen long before a job req ever hits a job board. That means if you're only applying online, you're competing for roughly 30% of what's actually out there. The other 70%? That's where networking comes in. But not the way most people do it.

Why Most Networking Falls Flat

Let me paint a picture you might recognize. You meet someone at an event or reach out on LinkedIn. Within the first few minutes, you've told them you're looking for a job, listed your experience, and asked if they know of any openings. The other person smiles politely. Maybe they say something like "I'll keep you in mind" or "Send me your resume." And then... nothing. No follow up. No introduction. No response to your email.

You think they're rude. They think you put them in an awkward spot. Nobody wins.

This happens constantly. A LinkedIn survey found that 70% of professionals get hired at companies where they have a connection. But here's what that stat doesn't tell you. Having a connection isn't enough. The connection has to be willing to go to bat for you. And that requires a completely different approach than most job seekers take.

What You're Getting Wrong

The biggest mistake I see is treating networking like a transaction. You meet someone. You need something from them. You ask for it. Done. That feels efficient. But it's actually working against you.

People don't refer strangers. They don't put their reputation on the line for someone they just met. They don't stick their neck out for someone who made them feel like a means to an end.

Research from the Society for Human Resource Management shows that referred candidates are 55% faster to hire than candidates from career sites. Companies trust referrals because the person making the referral is vouching for you. But nobody vouches for someone who approached them like a vending machine.

The Holiday Networking Advantage

Right now is actually one of the best times to network. I know that sounds backwards. Most job seekers assume everyone is checked out for the holidays. So they wait until January. That's a huge mistake.

December is filled with holiday parties, end of year gatherings, alumni events, and casual get togethers. The vibe is more relaxed than a formal networking event. People are more open to conversation when there's no pressure. And because most of your competition is sitting at home waiting for January, you have less noise to cut through.

The key is shifting your mindset about what networking actually means.

What Actually Works

Forget about asking for jobs. Forget about listing your qualifications. Forget about making someone feel obligated to help you. Here's what works instead.

Be curious about the other person first. Ask them about their work. Ask them what's keeping them busy. Ask them what they're excited about heading into the new year. Listen more than you talk.

When you do talk about yourself, keep it short. One or two sentences about what you do and what you're looking for. Then ask a question back.

Your goal is not to get a job from this conversation. Your goal is to have a conversation worth continuing. That's it. The job stuff comes later, once you've built enough rapport that helping you feels natural instead of awkward.

The Follow-Up Is Where It Happens

Most people never follow up. Or they follow up once, get no response, and give up. Here's what I tell my clients. The first conversation plants a seed. The follow-up is where the relationship actually grows.

Send a short note within 24 to 48 hours. Mention something specific from your conversation. Don't ask for anything. Just say it was great meeting them and you hope to stay in touch.

A few weeks later, share something relevant. An article they might find interesting. A congratulations on something they posted. A genuine comment on their work. This is how you stay on someone's radar without being annoying.

When an opportunity does come up, you want to be the person they think of. That only happens if you've invested in the relationship before you needed something.

A Quick Checklist Before Your Next Event

• Before you walk into any networking situation, run through these questions.

• Do I know what I want to say about myself in two sentences or less?

• Am I prepared to ask questions and listen more than I talk?

• Do I have a way to follow up with people I meet?

• Am I going in with curiosity instead of desperation?

• Have I let go of the expectation that this one event will land me a job?

• If you can answer yes to all of those, you're already ahead of 90% of job seekers.

The Bigger Picture

Networking is a long game. Most people treat it like a short game and then wonder why it doesn't work. The connections that actually lead to jobs are built over time. They're built through repeated positive interactions. They're built through generosity, curiosity, and genuine interest in other people.

When you shift your approach, everything changes. The conversations feel better. The follow-ups feel natural. And the opportunities start showing up in ways you didn't expect.

What To Do Next

If networking still feels uncomfortable or confusing, you're not alone. This is one of the areas where my clients see the biggest transformation in their job search. When you understand how to build relationships that actually lead to opportunities, the whole process speeds up.

My clients are landing jobs in 3 to 8 weeks instead of 9 to 12 months. A big part of that is learning how to tap into the hidden job market through networking done right.

If you want to learn exactly how to do this, let's talk. Schedule a time on my calendar and we'll figure out the best path forward for your job search.

About Ilene Rein

Ilene Rein is on a mission to get people hired... and in record time! As an Executive Recruiter and Managing Partner at Marketing & Sales Resources, and Founder and Job Search Strategist at Pounding Pavement 101, Ilene has spent years on the inside of the hiring process, watching what actually gets candidates noticed and job offers.

After hearing countless stories of job seekers struggling for 9-12 months with endless applications and radio silence, Ilene created Pounding Pavement 101 – her Foolproof, Job-Getting, Career-Building System that teaches job seekers exactly how to market themselves with laser precision using insider recruiting secrets.

The Pounding Pavement 101 program results are incredible: Ilene's clients are getting hired 6x FASTER than job searching alone – landing dream jobs in just 3-8 weeks instead of months of frustration and saving thousands of dollars of lost income! Check out the detailed statistics.

Ilene is a sought-after speaker partnering with companies, educational institutions and organizations worldwide to provide this premium job searching expert guidance.

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